Below is a list of books and stories that might help show what dating and domestic violence look like and how it can impact those involved. Beside each book is a description of what you might notice while you are reading through the book.
Take Me There: Susane Colasanti
This story is told from the perspectives of three high school friends: Rhiannon, Nicole, and James. Each character navigates their own struggles, but a significant theme that emerges is the issue of teen dating violence.
- Rhiannon is dealing with the aftermath of a breakup with her ex-boyfriend, Steve, who emotionally manipulated and controlled her during their relationship. Through Rhiannon's narrative, the book explores how Steve's behavior affected her self-esteem and trust in others. Despite the breakup, Steve continues to exert control over her, showing up unexpectedly and trying to insert himself back into her life, which highlights the lingering effects of emotional abuse.
- Nicole, on the other hand, is in a relationship with Danny, who initially appears charming but soon reveals a darker side. Danny's controlling behavior escalates, leading to instances of verbal and emotional abuse. Nicole struggles with feelings of fear and confusion, questioning her own judgment and worth. Her friends notice changes in her behavior, such as increased anxiety and withdrawal from social activities, which are common signs of someone experiencing dating violence.
- James, who is a close friend to both girls, offers support but feels helpless at times, not knowing how to effectively intervene. His perspective highlights the importance of having a support system and the challenges friends face when trying to help someone in an abusive relationship.
Key Aspects of Teen Dating Violence in the Book:
1. Emotional Manipulation: Both Rhiannon and Nicole experience emotional manipulation, where their partners use guilt, jealousy, and control to dominate the relationship.
2. Isolation: Nicole’s relationship with Danny leads to isolation, as he discourages her from spending time with friends and family, making her more dependent on him.
3. Fear and Intimidation: The characters often feel intimidated by their partners, leading to a constant state of fear and anxiety.
4. Self-Esteem Issues: The abuse takes a toll on the girls' self-esteem, making them question their self-worth and capabilities.
Breathing Underwater: Alex Flinn
The story is told from the perspective of Nick Andreas, a high school student who is ordered by the court to attend anger management classes and keep a journal after he physically assaults his girlfriend, Caitlin McCourt.
Nick Andreas, the protagonist, appears to have a perfect life with good looks, wealth, and popularity. However, beneath this facade lies a troubled individual dealing with his own history of abuse and emotional turmoil. The novel delves into his relationship with Caitlin and the abuse he inflicts on her, illustrating the impact of his feelings of entitlement over controlling Caitlin.
Key Aspects of Teen Dating Violence in the Book:
1. Control and Manipulation: Nick's relationship with Caitlin is marked by his need to control every aspect of her life, from what she wears to whom she talks to. He manipulates her emotions, making her feel guilty and dependent on him.
2. Emotional and Verbal Abuse: Nick frequently belittles and insults Caitlin, undermining her self-esteem and making her feel worthless. His verbal assaults are relentless and aim to keep her subjugated.
3. Physical Abuse: The pivotal moment in the novel is when Nick physically assaults Caitlin, an act that leads to the court order for anger management.
4. Isolation: Nick isolates Caitlin from her friends and family, making her increasingly dependent on him. This isolation is a common tactic in abusive relationships to exert control and prevent the victim from seeking help.
5. Pattern of Abuse: The novel effectively portrays the pattern of abuse, where periods of intense violence are followed by apologies and promises to change, creating a confusing and toxic environment for Caitlin.
The Breakable Vow: Kathryn Ann Clarke
This story follows Annie McGowan, a high school student who is in a relationship with Liam when he begins abusing her, and her journey toward reclaiming her independence and self-worth.
Annie McGowan is an intelligent and vibrant teenager whose life changes dramatically when she starts dating Liam, a charming and seemingly perfect college student. Initially, their relationship is filled with romance and excitement, but it soon takes a dark turn as Liam becomes increasingly controlling and abusive.
Key Aspects of Dating and Domestic Violence in the Book:
1. Emotional and Psychological Abuse: Liam's controlling behavior starts subtly but escalates as the relationship progresses. He isolates Annie from her friends and family, undermines her self-confidence, and manipulates her emotions to maintain control.
2. Physical Abuse: The physical aspect of the abuse becomes apparent as Liam's temper flares. He resorts to violence to assert dominance, leaving Annie fearful and trapped in the relationship.
3. Pattern of Abuse: The novel vividly portrays the pattern of abuse, where periods of calm and affection are interspersed with episodes of violence and control. This cycle keeps Annie hopeful for change while simultaneously deepening her entrapment.
4. Impact on Mental Health: Annie’s mental health deteriorates as she struggles with feelings of guilt, shame, and confusion. The abuse takes a toll on her academic performance, social life, and overall well-being.
What Jamie Saw: Carolyn Coman
This story follows Jamie, a 9 year old boy, who witnesses a horrifying act of violence committed by his mother's boyfriend, and the subsequent struggle to find safety and stability.
Jamie’s life is turned upside down when he sees his mother’s boyfriend, Van, throw his baby sister, Nin, across the room in a fit of rage. Jamie, his mother, and Nin flee their home to escape Van, seeking refuge with a friend.
Key Aspects of Domestic Violence in the Book:
1. Physical Abuse: The novel opens with a traumatic event where Jamie witnesses Van's violent outburst, which serves as a catalyst for the family's escape. This act of physical abuse is a stark depiction of the danger and unpredictability of an abuser.
2. Emotional and Psychological Impact: Jamie’s perception of the world is deeply affected by the violence he witnessed. The novel delves into his fears, anxiety, and the sense of instability that he experiences as a result of the abuse.
3. Long-term Effects: The book explores the lingering impact of violence on Jamie and his family. Despite their physical escape, the emotional scars remain, affecting their ability to trust and feel secure.
The Road to After: Rebekah Lowell
This story follows the life of a young girl named Lacey, who, along with her mother and sister, escapes their abuser and embarks on a path to recovery.
Lacey, a courageous and resilient young girl, lives with her abusive father, mother, and younger sister. The story begins with Lacey and her family escaping from the oppressive environment they have been trapped in. With the help of law enforcement and a support network, they find refuge and begin the difficult process of rebuilding their lives.
Key Aspects of Domestic Violence in the Book:
1. Emotional and Psychological Abuse: Lacey's father exerts control through emotional manipulation and psychological abuse. He isolates the family, instills fear, and undermines their sense of self-worth
2. Physical Abuse: The physical violence is a constant threat, creating an environment of fear and tension. Lacey's father's unpredictable outbursts contribute to the trauma and instability experienced by the family.
3. Impact on Mental Health: The abuse takes a significant toll on Lacey's mental health. She experiences anxiety, fear, and a sense of helplessness. The trauma affects her ability to trust and feel safe, even after escaping the abusive environment.
4. Pattern of Abuse: The novel highlights the patterned nature of abuse, where moments of calm and apparent affection are followed by episodes of violence and control. This pattern keeps the person feeling trapped and fearful of leaving.
If you purchase books through smile.amazon.com, please choose Next Step Domestic Violence Project as your designated charity. Amazon will donate 0.5% on eligible purchases. Thank you!